WHITE CHOCOLATE BISCOFF BARS

Urban legends have it that I tend to opt for the easy way out and hide and avoid and deny and forget and more or less gracefully dodge bullets and steer away from sticky situations (unless it’s bubble-gum-flavour-ice-lolly sticky situations. In which particular case, I’m game) and my abilities as a most talented escape artist have been reported on on numerous occasions.

In my defense, the quiet (or, nothingness) after the madness pompously rolled out the red carpet for my head to wave goodbye to reality and set sail for dreams; and for this very reason dreaded deadly blood tests at seven in the morning have resulted in robotic I-have-convinced-myself-I-am-still-asleep-and-that’s-not-really-a-needle type behaviours that cause slight perplexity in hospitals; post-delivery client amends with a deadline of yesterday in mystical tales of guardian angels named Shane; and mooncake moulds missing in action and monthly expeditions to the strip and one birthday cake training session too many (however: I am so loved) in the creation of chocolate & biscuit spread bars that take less than one German experimental music album to whip up and if they didn’t dramatically worsen biscuit spread addiction and cause fatness and a spotty face you would think they are a gift from the empyrean because they’re delicious like that.

Now before I make my easy way out of this too, to go stuff myself with biscuit spread bars, I wish to share with posterity one last pearl of wisdom: the easy way out and white chocolate Biscoff bars is better than no way out and no white chocolate Biscoff bars.

WHITE CHOCOLATE BISCOFF BARS

Crust:

225g (8oz) Biscoff/speculoos biscuits

110g (1/2 cup) margarine, melted

190g (3/4 cup) Biscoff/speculoos biscuit spread

Chocolate layer:

300g (2 cups) vegan white chocolate, chopped

125g (1/2 cup) Biscoff/speculoos biscuit spread

75g (1/2 cup) vegan white chocolate, chopped

Line a 20x20cm/8x8” square cake tin with parchment paper. Blitz the biscuits in a blender until finely ground, then add melted margarine and biscuit spread and keep going until you get a smooth paste that holds together. Place the mixture into the prepared tin, pressing it down to cover the base, and smooth the top. Place in the fridge whilst you make the chocolate layer.

Melt white chocolate and biscuit spread together in a double boiler, stirring to combine, then pour over the crust.

For the finishing touches melt the remaining white chocolate, then spoon small amounts over the chocolate+biscuit spread layer. Use a toothpick or the tip of a spoon to stir it around in swirls and patterns.

Place in the fridge to set for at least a couple of hours before cutting into bars. 

By the time they’re ready you’ll still be listening to a song called ‘Marzipan’.