ROCKY ROAD SALAMI

When it doesn’t really matter whether changing the past was ever a real thing, you’ve got to focus on this more or less expected time of year, which turns out to be all about juggling Pexmas parties and slow-cooked death and retarded cookies and tarots, present shopping and present giving and present receiving, cake receiving and coffee receiving, and sharing, photo boothing, hair cutting and more or less extensive hair dying (yet, no flamboyaging), mulled whining and vintage weighing and recipe improvising, for cake giving; and if you stopped for half a second and looked in the mirror between each ing (or, if you were to spend four hours at the hairdresser’s sat in front of one of said mirrors), you would be astounded to find you could well be a red-haired modern-day version of Anna Karerinina because you’re smiley like that (and only worryingly less photogenic); but then again, why would you stop for even half a second, when the cross that you bear is half as heavy as you run around pushed by the cold wind, and amazing ventures and adventures await, and there’s the new best Engl-alian cake setting in the fridge, ready to be shared like your own special version of gold or frankincense or myrrh, except it’s made of Italian chocolate and English tea biscuits and a bucketload of Canadian marshmallows because you’ve got to make the most of what you’ve got, to wake that winter sun at last.

ROCKY ROAD SALAMI




200g (7oz) rich tea-type biscuits, crushed

100g (3/4 cup) icing sugar

40g (1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon) cocoa powder

30g (1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon) ground almonds

75g (1 cup) dark chocolate, chopped

120g (1/2 cup) margarine

70g (2.5oz) vegan mini marshmallows

In a mixing bowl combine crushed biscuits, icing sugar, cocoa powder and ground almonds. In the meantime melt the chocolate in a double boiler.

Add margarine and melted chocolate into the bowl with the other ingredients, stirring to combine, then fold in the marshmallows. Mix with your hands until you get a smooth mixture then shape it into a sausage and roll it in extra icing sugar. Wrap in foil or parchment paper and place in the fridge for about 4 hours.
Cut into slices and eat and Merry Pexmas.