CHOCOLATE & MARSHMALLOW PIZZA

I've been feeling like this: dessert pizza.

GLUTEN-FREE FAIRY BREAD

I do not recall ever granting mother nature permission to turn me into a (rather small) grown-up; please bear with me whilst I take a break from all this adult business for a minute and day-dream about making bread with my dad and secretly hope someone will take me to Disneyland for my birthday and eat, as one should, sprinkles on toast.

FRITTELLE - ITALIAN FRIED DOUGH BALLS

I firmly believe that one of the frequently asked questions at interviews for skilled and highly valued jobs like say, sommeliers should be: if you were a cake-like thing, what would you be. It is probably for the best however that that’s not the case, as I myself would stare at the interviewer in sheer panic and spend the following about five days going through a mental list of all cakes and sweets and treats known to man, then opt for eternal unemployment and spend my days making videos of cats and die shortly after from asthma, or scratched to death. But if I really had to answer the question in utmost seriousness, my immediate reaction would have been to identify myself with some seriously sugary out-of-the-strong-came-forth-sweetness-style sticky Bundt cake, or a spotty-face-inducing chocolatey fridge treat preferably to be consumed over the sink, or some inexplicably underrated pumpkin cake all drenched in sweet syrup, or again something containing worrying amounts of sugar and apparently chocolatey but not, because I can be peculiar like that. But then it so happened that introspective times at the hairdresser’s via the strip catered for thoughts of Venetian masquerade balls that never came into being, and brought back memories of Italian Carnival and warm kitchens and mid-week late afternoons and greasy paper bags filled with fresh frittelle and sugar all over your mouth and your nose and your hair and your Latin homework; and this may or may not be me saying that’s my final answer, but if you think it’s a coincidence that each of these little bites of deep-fried sugar-coated deliciousness rhymes with my name, and don’t give in to sweetness too, and as per my very own Carnival tradition, glory in one frittella too many: you’re crazy.

PANETTONE - ITALIAN CHRISTMAS BREAD

It’s only normal that after the oddest-ever-odd succession of Journeys to the edge of nobody’s empire, with a soundtrack of techno music and songs from your childhood, Feverishness and advice and the most sudden fear of owls, Madness, sponsored by emotional charity gone wrong under the ever so watchful eye of the Shard, and followed by Absolutely fucking nothing (topped with golden syrup, and stomach ache), Missions to the future and back, Jam on toast, toilet floors, fallen soldiers, Jamborees, the fairest sun, orphanages, Amazing adventures (or an anachronistic version of them), Sinking ships and planes to outer space, Obliteration, and Nervous breakdowns that cater for symphonies, breakfast, books, bites and warmth; it’s only normal that you find yourself in a state of sleepy, puzzled accomplishment, and you half-wonder whether all this that you managed to more or less gracefully survive was one of those Dreams that make you talk in your sleep; and whether or not you see what happens next, be it because you may be a dormant little witch with a temperance problem, or because you’ve just been given the gift of the self-proclaimed wisdom of the ages (that and snus, plus recipe books, and camera gear), you feel like you really deserve that slice of vegan panettone that is the very last, proper delicious bake of an oddest-ever-odd year; and you hope that the wisdom of the cake will work its magic just as well; for yourself, for all the cake eaters that have been sitting with you at tea time, J through to D, and, most of all, for those who still feel a little bit peckish and won’t mind sticking around for another year.

CINNAMON CHESTNUT SWIRL BREAD

If this specific semi-conscious portion of my brain that has been misbehaving since my return from outer space could be accessed by means of a Welcome10 (or if I hadn't said no to fun and hacking tutorials), I would no doubt log in and schedule one of those universally dreaded Outlook-style reminder windows to pop up in my head, accompanied by a force-twelve ear-splitting alarm bell and re-occurring until further notice, to read in monster font size: YOU ARE IN CANADA NO MORE; as behaviours such as spending evenings in basements attempting to scan aerial shots of Vancouver in life size, travelling North of the river (!) to acquire pumpkin spice latte and sweet potatoes and pumpkin miso soup, purchasing maple water and pumpkin beer, trying to replicate recipes of every single food item I consumed during my nine-day Canada trip, pouring half a liter of maple syrup into my maple tea that I will exclusively drink out of my Vancouver mug, unconsciously adopting the American spelling, being upset about the availability of Jamaican cream soda only (it’s not the same. Not the same), and starting the overwhelming majority of my conversation exchanges with overexcited when-I-was-in-Canada’s cannot be deemed appropriate or well judged.

One day, I’m sure, I will finally come to terms with the actuality that all is left of my trip is an inhuman amount of tea, a still very spotty face, and photos with one light leak too many; and in fact, you’ll be relieved to know that I have already been working on re-directing these escapist tendencies of mine to 1. fictional worlds, going on solitary day trips to admire Victorian stone sculptures of extinct animals as it would make a very adventurous chapter in an imaginary book that would have the coolest cover and would be titled ‘Amongst The Dinosaurs of Crystal Palace’; and for the sake of sanity and social acceptance 2. other places on this very planet, booking stupidly expensive flights to Italy and going on a Chinese mooncake ingredient hunt, being mistaken for a Swede (and taking it as a compliment and appreciating the importance of capitalisation), working on the perfect vegan Yorskhire parkin for Bonfire Night, and last but not least seeking baking inspiration in Australian food magazines (which I was given in Canada but don’t tell anyone). And it is the latter, ladies and gentlemen, that brings me here today with a recipe for the best sticky fluffy swirly cinnamony tea-time bread with the creamiest chestnut and walnut filling (and only a negligible amount of maple syrup, leave me alone) you can possibly find this side of the pond or the other.

I’ll let you know how I get on with my pursuit of a cure for Canada-lessness (or hacking lessons, and mental health), but for right now rest assured that I’ll be all content with my delicious swirly bread, because who wouldn’t be, eh?

ANPAN - JAPANESE RED BEAN BUNS

My baking destination of choice this week just had to be Japan, and as I wait for a Reykjavik guide book to be delivered to the office (if they don’t knock it down before then) and secretly, or not-so-secretly, go back over my steps and stare in a mixture of shock and excitement at tickets for a plane that instead will take me half a world away in under three weeks’ time, I kind of see a pattern there.

This time, your favourite escape (and bake) artist (that would be myself. Hi) is sharing a recipe for some fluffy vegan Japanese bread buns that are filled with sweet red bean paste, and do not contain any traces of maple syrup, dates (that’s probably for the best), nor Atlantic halibut (definitely for the best).

Two mouthfuls and you can forget other people's sinking ships and perhaps also your ones, and let your compass (head?) spin again for a little while.

MELONPAN - JAPANESE BISCUIT BUNS

You know it’s time to make Melonpan when your Japan guidebook has been collecting dust on a shelf for almost a year, but still you can’t wait to print out yours and your daddy’s tickets to Morocco this week. And never mind the nosebleeds, David Wilson falls from the sky to improve your life like jam on toast.

Don’t ever tell him I said that.

And when Alex and Lauren and I sit on the steps on our lunch break with tired and crumpled faces like a punk version of the three musketeers. Or when your new mission in life becomes giving Cake Wednesday a Chinese twist.

But also when you think your heart is going to burst from sorrow and guilt (although someone’s there with you this time), and when you just don’t know whether you’ll be flying half a world away in a couple of months.

Because it turns out that sometimes (but only sometimes) change isn’t so terrifying, and it’s nice to sit in your (not for long) flat munching vegan sweet buns with a biscuity crust until you finally allow the seasons to turn.

HOT CROSS BUNS

In just under a week’s time I’ll be in sunny Italy shovelling into my face monster portions of gnocchi and pizza and proper Easter eggs (sorry British Easter eggs) and chocolate of all sorts, and the 60 pence brick-sized flapjack from the corner shop by the Shard and the packs of Fruit Shortcake bought out of desperation from quality-checking too many videos in Khmer will only be a distant memory. However, lately during my semi-sleepless nights that I euphemistically like to call ‘recipe development sessions’ I’ve found myself pondering over British Easter cakes and treats. It may or may not be that I’ve spent the last four days in bed with a broken stomach, and survived on boiled rice and corn cakes only. Or that in this timeframe I’ve watched all of Mary Berry’s programs five million times, alternating them with Masterchef for sanity (?). 

But it did take me back to Easter time in good olde Shropshire, where Easter lunch is like, cucumber on toast but then you have four different cakes for pudding. And then you have tea with four more half an hour later. Well Simnel cake deserves an honorable mention because it looks so pretty and there’s like a half a kilo of delicious marzipan in it. But we all know marzipan is terribly misunderstood, so when I decided to pick one Easter treat to veganise, I went for my mates fluffy sticky hot cross buns. They’re really easy to make (even with a hot water bottle carefully positioned onto your stomach) and they’re filled with all nice sorts of things ranging from cinnamon and spices to dried fruit and peel and covered in apricot glaze. Best enjoyed between a bite of cucumber on toast and two of Simnel cake. Or you can use them as the bun for a chocolate egg sandwich. Who am I to judge. Hah.

CAROB & VANILLA SWIRL LOAF

Here’s some lovely swirly bread that may or may not be a projection of the current state of my brain that is, not so lovely but very swirly. Make this and see if eating it helps you unswirl your brain like it did with me, thank you carob & vanilla swirl loaf for being so lovely and for your unswirling properties.

LEMON POPPY SEED ROLL

To moving to Shimokitazawa to learn Japanese, going to pastry school in New York and running away to Scotland and starting a pop band I can now add selling vegan poppy seed rolls in Hungary or another Eastern European country of choice to my list of career options for when I grow up (errr).

PUMPKIN CINNAMON ROLLS

I came back from New York with 10 extra kilos of body fat, a spotty face, 10 litres of maple syrup and an obsession with all things pumpkin. In this recipe, you’ll find two of the above – that is, the maple syrup and pumpkin, if there’s any need for clarifying.

Weeeell, these moistest-ever-moist pumpkin cinnamon rolls with a super sticky maple glaze are such a mouth-watering twist on the traditional cinnamon rolls. It makes me a little bit emotional because my life is not the same now that I don’t have my pumpkin spice soya latte twice a day anymore and don’t see lines of pretty, pretty (massive) pumpkins in front of every house on every street.

Let’s just devour them celebrating my newfound friend America and by the way also that Adam got me this internet domain and my blog is all serious now (he is, oh, the best). And that today I chopped all my hair off (don’t ask). And lastly, that my friend Kris gave me the vegan bible as a present for my birthday. I’m making everything that’s in there. Omnom – tears of gratitude/melancholy – omnomnom – repeat.

PAIN AU CHOCOLAT

Life is incredibly more bearable when you're stuffing your face with freshly baked vegan pain au chocolat. I highly recommend that you all try.

CHERRY FOCACCIA

Sticking to my roots again today with some nice Italian focaccia. This is a sweet version, which people sometimes freak out about, but it's definitely a thing and definitely super tasty. Needless to say it's better than the savoury one. Pinky promise, trust me or try yourselves (and/or both).

SULTANA LOAF

The fact that my breakfast every morning before nursery school used to be a (whole) baguette should have probably made me realise that bread is my one true love. I probably also should have listened to my mum saying that one day I would open a bakery and make (and eat?) bread like there's no tomorrow. But no big deal. Shall I make up for it now? (everyone: Yeeees) Cool. Here's the fluffiest most flavoursome sultana loaf. Or should I say here was? In any case, this was made in my flat, and not bakery I'm afraid. And nevermind selling it. I'll just do it for the glory.
Hail, bread.

ORANGE BLOSSOM BRIOCHE

It might be that I had a very challenging week, and I'm just going to name a few happenings to give you the picture, such as blocked-off roads, car crashes, buses dropping me off twenty kilometres from my destination (let me get to work will you?), next-door buildings on fire, fifteen million leaving parties on school-nights, and some good old drama, but I was on a roll already. So I thought I might as well face the challenge of yeast once again, this time going the brioche way. Because, to make up for all the apocalyptic incidents of the past 6 days, this week we also booked our Eurostar tickets for a quick trip to Paris in August. Celebratory yummy brioche in my belly. 

CHOCOLATE CHIP BUNS

The thought of yeast dough has always been really daunting to me. Whilst baking soda, baking powder and all chemical raising agents are relatively easy to use in baking (even though they can and do go wrong too sometimes), yeast is more of a beast to handle. Having watched thousands of episodes of The Great British Bake Off in the past couple of years, the image of Paul Hollywood scrutinising a crumb of some poor contestant’s bread loaf and going “It’s underproved, underworked and underbaked” was always stuck in my head and put me off trying to make bread myself. But it is also known that I’m a bit of a scaredy cat, so I thought: what’s the best way of starting my new blog (which is, did you know, just as frightening), other than by trying and fighting this horrible misconception about my personality (HA)! Here’s a very easy, not-so-scary sweet dough recipe that, although it requires the yeast-beast to work its magic for quite a few hours, will provide you with 18 delicious, really-easy-to-make, reasonably healthy, and vegan chocolate chip buns. And did I say delicious? These work super well for breakfast, as an afternoon snack and even dessert, or in my case, all three (hhem).